Monday, September 24, 2007
She walked slowly on the snow covered pavement, alone and feeling cold.. she loosened her curly thick hair to let them fall on her ears. It made her feel warm.. She could see smiling people all across the street..Buying gifts, decorating Christmas trees, kids chattering about Santa, there seemed to be the smell of joy in the air.. She felt good to be out.. She sighed and tried to set aside her worries. She had become quite accustomed to a loner's life now..
After all she had been running about from place to place like a gypsy. She never made many friends and had now seemed to get a knack to get along well with strangers. Any discotheque,club or dance floor was enough to make her feel at home. But sadly, on special events like Thanksgiving and Christmas, she missed her family.
She recalled the hilltop home she once lived in as a toddler. her mom was never the homely kind. She wanted to be on Broadway and always dreamt big. It was that deadly autumn night when her mom had her final clash with her dad and was all set to leave them.Marja was four then and sat up wailing in her bed. Her younger sibling was fast asleep in the crib beside her. She didn't know wat agreement her mom had reached with her dad,But she barged into their room, packed up some of little Marja's things and pulled her along.. Marja didn't even have time to pick up her favourite teddy.. In all the chaos she just wailed on and later she remembered her dad hadn't kissed her goodbye..Nor did mom kiss goodbye to her sibling.Why did mom choose her? May be coz it was better than taking a baby out into the street. She never knew, nor did her mom ever tell her.
She also often wondered if her dad had ever loved her. In all these 20 yrs, even when her mom had died 4 years back, she didn't hear a word from him.Till a few years back she used to wish some day her dad would come and find her..But now she didn't wish so anymore.. May be in his hatred for their mom, he had started hating her too..But why should she blame her dad alone. Her mom too was never that close to her. She was always busy.. First with her theatre and rehearsals and then with films and directors..And the so many fans she had and her lovers..Ah! how she hated her mom.. The famous, most desired actress in town.. Susie Carl brown..
But she also pitied her mom.. Ultimately wat did she get.. Narcotics, Alcohol and in the end a bullet in the head.. After her career bombed she succumbed to wat not. Marja always thought suicide was the worst way to put an end to ones life..And she hated to think of the past..
She wanted to put her entire life behind her and move on.
She opened her front door to be greeted by Miss Kiki. She put down the gift she had got for her pet, by the fireplace..Sadly there was no Christmas tree nor any gift for Marja.. She rocked in her easy chair and put on some music and began to relax.She was enjoying the silence and peace in her little apartment.
Outside, the night was adorned with a beautiful star lit black sky and the earth covered with a carpet of white snow.. It was a serene picture and Marja sat gazing out.But suddenly her eyes caught sum thing moving behind the bushes. Her pupils widened as she saw who it was..
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