Under Construction

As the dream gal gets shaken up form her lovely dream, she realises its time she did some serious amendments.. A management degree seems a must to pursue her career dreams in the US.. So with her rusted brain needing vigorous exercise, and the time ticking without mercy, she abolishes all her hobbies and amusements and is set off to Bell the Cat. Hope she will be back by mid Jan in flying colours!!!
Until then adios amigos!!!!

Namesake

After hearing a lot about Jhumpa lahiri from a very inspiring person (read my post on him here) who even remembered her characters from her Pulitzer winner "Interpreter of maladies", i decided to grab my hands on her next book "The Namesake". I know the book may have been much discussed about already, But unlike the other much discussed books which i pick up and which end up disappointing me, this one was a real entertainer. On thinking about the plot and story line, it is a very simple story of a Bengali family who have migrated to the US and the story is very much normal and can be one of you or me or any other person.. A very common kind of story. I think that is the secret behind its success. The way she makes you bound to the book with no complexities, nothing unusual or mystic but still with an aura of freshness and intrigue.. I am totally a fan of Jhumpa now. The style of her writing, her way of describing things, its all very mesmerising.. I just couldn't keep the book down and yet i didint want to finish reading it as i didnt want to be exhaust my favourite book so soon yet. But as all good things come to an end(HAHAHA) so did the book.
Its damn good and Jhumpa is a marvellous story teller.. Im awaiting the dvd release of the movie on nov 27th now..

On a frustrating note, my work permit seems to have gone for a toss.. at the final stages it has cropped up with a mysterious problem which being that my petition has long been closed.. Thanks to my very dutiful employer he didn't even know of it until 3 months have passed and with my screwed up luck it awaits to be seen how the re-appeal n stuff will go.. Anyways its sad that my career for no reason has come to a standstill and there is nothing i can do about it other than pray to the US Immigration gods!!!
but again, i don't want to spoil this happy place called dreamgalz nest by cribbing.. So let me tell you about my week long vacation.. The places have been correctly guessed by Mr.maddy,radha, b-k and aswin. It is indeed the white house and the times-square. However the 3rd one is not in any of those cities but in Baltimore, Maryland.. It was a nice n hectic trip, where i could also visit one of my aunts whom i was meeting for the firt time :)
Loved the times-square best of all. the energy, color and splendor reminded of India(he he) i know the comparison seems strange but i swear it was the same feeling.. it was the first time that after coming to US i saw so many people on the roads and walking in such a a fast pace hiring cabs n buses heading for office early in the morning and it felt so much at home... sigh Texas is so grey and looks so deserted.. he he
but nah.. our place Plano has been voted as the best place in US to live in. So saying i pacify Ms diyadear.. ;)

The Vacation's Over :(

As all good things come to an ed, so did our sweet little vacation..
Now i need to fine new ways back home to amuse myself.. And one of them of course is blogging.. So here i go. -
You have to guess the places i visited from the pictures below.. No brand prizes/goodie bags to be given away.. But lets just have some fun..
So there are 3 pics taken at 3 different places.. N here they go -

Easy isn't it?? will brag about my trip in the next post.. But i did have a lot of fun :D

Hiya all..

i know i havent been around much... But thats cos it has been a real hectic month.. It has marked many many historic events in my life he he n to name a few i turned 25 last wednesday :) Finally hope that puts an end to my quarter life crisis.. ;)

N the exciting part is i am off on a vacation... hurrah!! will be back with many many pics and will catch up with all of u then.. Till then have a great week ahead all...

Movies, Books and me..

Life was going on.. steady and at ease when lo i went off to meet a dear sweet aunt of mine and her hubby whom i was meeting for the first time.. Some people, i believe are met just to attain a cause. N this time I'm sure that was one of the purposes of my visit to their home.. Abundance of knowledge, encyclopedia of books, movies and again knowledge... what do i say.. but i was simply mesmerised by the depth of knowledge he possessed(my uncle). Geography, History, of India, Us or the entire world..Even the dates were known by heart to him.. And he is a doc by profession..So count in biology too..Also equally knowledgeable is my aunt..About books, economics what now.. in their midst i felt glad to admit that i am a kid and was pleased to be treated like one.. And from there i now have a whole new list to to be read books and to be watched movies..

N a few impressive ones i already saw from their collection are -

A Passage to India - A beautiful movie by David Lean adapted from E M Foster's famous book A passage to India.. It gives us a view of British India. How the British lived in India and later a clash between the Britishers and the mob.But unlike a movie on freedom struggle, this movie has a good story line and its mysterious till the very last reel.Truly awesome was the performance of Alec Guiness as professor Godbole.Also impressive were the dialogues which were apt and crisp.A good movie involving and Indian doctor, a young British lady tourist, her old adorable companion called Mrs Moore and how their nice little picnic turns into a nightmare..

Mississippi Masala - A lighthearted movie about an Indian family residing in Mississippi.. Its a story abt forbidden love between the Indian girl played by Sarita Choudhuri and an African American played by denzel Washington.. Must say i have become a fan of the director mira nair, especially since her other movie Monsoon wedding too had been exemplary. The best thing about the movie was that it didn't have any special or great story line or anything much different form other romance movies, but still it was cute in its own simple way and i liked the girl a lot.

She played the character remarkably well.. :)

After movies it time to mention a book, the author of which I'm reading for the first time And I'm just speechless by his total grasp on his entire plot and layout.. He seems to have a mental picture of each day of his characters and with tremendous ease he flip flops between the past and present making drowsy readers jerk and flip back pages.. not that readers can doze reading his book..The person I'm talking about is Mr. Amitav Ghosh and the book is The Shadow Lines which won the Sahitya Akademi Award, India's most prestigious literary award.. Rest of his books are in my to-be-read list and his non-fiction books like In an Antique Land are also much appreciated..

A new Life

A threshold has been crossed..
The journey has reached a major cross road..
Complexities were ample, uncertainties galore...
There were moments i forgot to breath..


But now the suspense is coming to an end..
My soul is at peace..
The torrent has passed, the storm ceased..
Bliss is the state of my mind...

Now a new phase of life begins..
Once more the dreams will be painted with gleam..
A major in life's exam is passed..
N the next mature level is revealed..

The Gift of Maggi

************- continued-from-here-****************

As he gulped down another whiskey down his parched throat, he felt his trembling fingers forming a fist.. A feeble new determination had conceived within him. He felt an inner voice whispering.. "The time has come".. Placing a few dollar bills on the counter he dashed out onto the street.. The city life was not familiar to him... nor was it found appealing.. But now in this city was something very precious.. like a diamond misplaced in a coal mine.. Something he would die for..



His cellphone beeped.. One glance at it n the color drained from his face.. "DAD" why was that word so terrorising to him?? why was his dad like a Hitler?? To his wife, he was a marvellous husband.. socially active, well known in the city, and a rich business owner.But he had raised a son just like he raised the many cows on his farm. Fed them n sheltered them but he never learnt the language to communicate with them..
arrrggggggggggg... He felt all the pent up feelings in him rushing out.. Ignoring the call he set out.. this was the mission of his life.. Never had he the guts to stand up for something which he genuinely desired in life.. Whether it was when his dad forcibly sent him to residential school or when he had to be the model for his dad's milk chocolates..He felt humiliated whenever he saw his face stamped on a poster or billboard.. and loathed his father...But he was never a rebel.N now he wondered why he had always succumbed so meekly.. But now he could stand no more..Come what may, he would find her..
Thriving on the boost of the many drinks, he walked on towards her house..He could see her now.. Sitting by the window.A picture of innocence, marked with distinct sorrow in her big brown eyes.. he felt hazy..was he dreaming? Suddenly he stumbled on a stone and fell to the ground..

*****************

Wat if she didn't have a family? wat if she was alone in the world?? Y was she scared and insecure, running from place to place hiding her past, afraid of making friends?.. She tried to figure out.. May be it was her adolescence.. She seemed all confused, scared and paranoid.. But now when she analysed things weren't so bad.. But who was that guy.. She had seen him following her twice or thrice and it made her feel weird..she wanted to face the reality in her life but she was afraid, of trusting, of loving anyone again..For, anyone whom she had loved had simply ignored her.. As if her love wasn't worth having.. She had never met genuine people with genuine feelings.. For everyone seemed to change when addressing the daughter of Susie Carlbrown.. N then suddenly it all ended.. From the top if the world she fell deep into a gorge.. A black dark pit where again nobody seemed to want to recognise her.. Or were mocking at her and laughing at her miserable life..Life had taught her many a lessons at a young age..

N promising to herself never to get hurt again, she choose anonymity..She had changed her name and taken up a complete new life.. A life alone, with no gossips, praises, ridicule or rumors and no fake feelings..N now as a simple common girl, she was learning to laugh,to cook,to shop to enjoy the small things in the world.. But always deep inside was a fear, a fear of the past, of being hurt again, of being unwanted, of being an orphan.
Outside, the night was adorned with a beautiful star lit black sky and the earth covered with a carpet of white snow.. It was a serene picture and Marja sat gazing out.But suddenly her eyes caught sum thing moving behind the bushes. Her pupils widened as she saw who it was..

********************

He tried to get up but couldn't.. Now he again saw her.. She was out by his side, helping him on his feet.. "who are you??why have you been following me?" She asked.. He wanted to reply.. Because this was the moment he was waiting for.. But he found himself tongue tied, as if someone had kept a rock on his tongue. But he knew he couldn't afford to fail now.. This was his one chance..

"Marina.." he managed to talk.. she was dumbstruck.. A thousand emotions danced on her gentle face.. ""how?? ..who??.." she seemed to have a lot of questions..
He pulled out his wallet.. N from that he produced a tiny little sheet of paper and handed over to her.. She watched in disbelief a picture of a family.. A little gal with a teddy,holding her daddy's hand and her mom carrying a baby.. All insecurities from her past seemed to melt away..She cried out loud in happiness and hugged him tight..


His cell phone beeped again."Step-mom.." He threw it into the bushes without a second thought and hugged her tighter..



*********************** thank-you-*************************

NB : - I would love it if all of you gave your sincere opinions about the plot, style and flow of this story.. Plz don't refrain from being critics, as i take this as a learning exercise and inputs from your side will be my most valuable learning tools :)

Christmas!!

****-continued-from-here-*****


She walked slowly on the snow covered pavement, alone and feeling cold.. she loosened her curly thick hair to let them fall on her ears. It made her feel warm.. She could see smiling people all across the street..Buying gifts, decorating Christmas trees, kids chattering about Santa, there seemed to be the smell of joy in the air.. She felt good to be out.. She sighed and tried to set aside her worries. She had become quite accustomed to a loner's life now..

After all she had been running about from place to place like a gypsy. She never made many friends and had now seemed to get a knack to get along well with strangers. Any discotheque,club or dance floor was enough to make her feel at home. But sadly, on special events like Thanksgiving and Christmas, she missed her family.

She recalled the hilltop home she once lived in as a toddler. her mom was never the homely kind. She wanted to be on Broadway and always dreamt big. It was that deadly autumn night when her mom had her final clash with her dad and was all set to leave them.Marja was four then and sat up wailing in her bed. Her younger sibling was fast asleep in the crib beside her. She didn't know wat agreement her mom had reached with her dad,But she barged into their room, packed up some of little Marja's things and pulled her along.. Marja didn't even have time to pick up her favourite teddy.. In all the chaos she just wailed on and later she remembered her dad hadn't kissed her goodbye..Nor did mom kiss goodbye to her sibling.Why did mom choose her? May be coz it was better than taking a baby out into the street. She never knew, nor did her mom ever tell her.

She also often wondered if her dad had ever loved her. In all these 20 yrs, even when her mom had died 4 years back, she didn't hear a word from him.Till a few years back she used to wish some day her dad would come and find her..But now she didn't wish so anymore.. May be in his hatred for their mom, he had started hating her too..But why should she blame her dad alone. Her mom too was never that close to her. She was always busy.. First with her theatre and rehearsals and then with films and directors..And the so many fans she had and her lovers..Ah! how she hated her mom.. The famous, most desired actress in town.. Susie Carl brown..

But she also pitied her mom.. Ultimately wat did she get.. Narcotics, Alcohol and in the end a bullet in the head.. After her career bombed she succumbed to wat not. Marja always thought suicide was the worst way to put an end to ones life..And she hated to think of the past..
She wanted to put her entire life behind her and move on.

She opened her front door to be greeted by Miss Kiki. She put down the gift she had got for her pet, by the fireplace..Sadly there was no Christmas tree nor any gift for Marja.. She rocked in her easy chair and put on some music and began to relax.She was enjoying the silence and peace in her little apartment.

Outside, the night was adorned with a beautiful star lit black sky and the earth covered with a carpet of white snow.. It was a serene picture and Marja sat gazing out.But suddenly her eyes caught sum thing moving behind the bushes. Her pupils widened as she saw who it was..

************-to-be-continued-***********

"Him"

********-continued-from-here-***********

He wore a full length coat and had his cap pulled way down his forehead. He parked his Mustang a little off the main door and trying to look as casual as anyone else walked into the store with both hands in his pocket. He was received at the door by a short middle aged woman. "Welcome to Walmart" , she said to him. But he did not look up lest he be recognised.He marched ahead and went straight into the garments section n hid himself between the lines of clothes.His heart was pounding.Adjusting his thin, fake mustache, he looked right and left. He was goin to see her..Should he go and talk to her? Will she recognise him? Many random thoughts kept swarming into his head. Then he spotted Jerry. He had befriended Jerry at the local bar next door, a few days back and was counting on him to help. Jerry seemed a good lad, cheerful and kind. He waved to him n started walking towards him.

"ssup man?" asked Jerry with gum in his mouth.

"well..i was just browsing around..",he tried not to look nervous.

"sure, lemme know if you gonna need some help man.. N wat u doing hiding between gals clothes?? wanna buy something for ur girlfriend uh??"smirked Jerry..

"well kinda.."In his mind was running the most important question.. should he trust Jerry with it?Is he a big mouthed moron who may spill the beans?? He was confused..But he did look okay..

He smiled feebly at Jerry.

"Y u looking so frail today chum?? wats the matter.." Jerry seemed inquisitive now.

he didnt know what to say.. He was sure time was running out n he needed to do something tonight itself.. His dad would kill him if he found out.. In that split second he decided.. he needed help. he couldn't do it alone. He wasn't that smart.. He was a geek alright but when it came to people management he was a big zero.Mustering courage he said,

"Jerry i need your help.. I'm looking for a girl by the name of Marina...She works here in this store."

"No buddy, i know all the girls here. there ain't no one by that name."

UH? how could that be? He had travelled 700 miles to just see her.. N already he had wasted 2 days.. wat would he do now.. He didn't even have a photograph of hers to show him.. he reluctantly added, "Ummm.. She looks a little like Susie Carlbrown"

"whaat.. u mean the actress Susie!! U must be kidding man.. I'm sure there's no one that pretty out here.. Else i wudn't miss that little gal.."

He thought it wouldn't be safe to give out any more information. But by then Jerry was all the more inquisitive. "waitaa minute man, u know where she lives or was her last name?"

"No" and in a jiffy he turned to go.. He had to sneak out of there as soon as possible. But Jerry put an arm on his shoulder n asked again "tell me man, i'll help you find her.."

Being timid and helpless, he heard himself blurting out to Jerry, "Its Marina.. Marina.. Ca.. Carlbrown.."

**********-to-be-continued-***********

Marja

Something had come over Marja. she felt sick, about to throw up..

"Good God am i pregnant??"Or was it the vodka's she had had at the previous night's party which was causing her all the trouble?? She had no idea.. In her quest to forget herself and just enjoy life, she had been partying n clubbing almost every night.. She had lost her job 2 weeks back following a heated argument with her boss. when she tried to go back to her previous job at walmart, she had been turned down saying they weren't hiring.. But she knew what the real reason was. he seemed to be following her like a shadow.. She felt now everyone looked at her with spite.. He had turned the whole world against her.. God her head was throbbing..

She reached out for the bottle of aspirin by her bed when it tumbled over and spill open onto the floor.It made poor Miss. kiki wake up with a start and she meowed on softly..

"Thank God for Miss Kiki, else i would be all alone in this world.." thought Marja. She fondled Miss Kiki and for a minute forgot all her pains.

She looked at the time. 8:15 AM. The winter had hit with its full might and she didnt feel like salting the snow.. Gosh , why wake up,when there is no work to go to? so thinking she went back to sleep.. she dreamt of a beautiful English party where she was dressed in a lilac silk gown.. The ball room was full of exquisite people and she danced on and on with a handsome young man.. The waltz and Strauss made her sway and the young gentleman held her firm. She felt possessed and so much in love.. and the next instant he turned and in her dream she saw his face.. he was very handsome but yet so familiar.. She strained to think. It was as if her dream had paused.. She was in a state somewhere in between her dream and reality when u know you are dreaming and so badly want to interpret it.. And to see what happens next. But it was like a badly stuck cassette. It couldn't move on.. N she open her eyes.. Oh what a dream. N now she knew who he was.. It was Him.. oh now he had conquered her dreams too!!!

***** -to-be-continued-***

10 days..

Have been away for a whole 10 days.. hope you remember i mentioned about a visit to an aunt's place.. well that alone cannot mark the reason for my absence.. Suddenly life seems very busy.. I am surprised i dont have time to take my afternoon nap :D ha ha well i've taken up a new online course. well at least something to feel worthwhile.. N not only am i attending this twice a week, 5 hrs a day, we have group study on other days.. feels like im back to school...but again everything is virtual.. wat i mean is on the web.. even my classroom is in my laptop now, hooking me all the more to it..
After my RJ fiasco (i never heard any gud news from them) another new venture ive taken up is vocal music..There is a troupe which performs on stage for some occasions and me and my husband happened to be present on one of their practice sessions.. Stage fright is my next of kin and i could feel my knees wobbling when i was asked to sing.. My whole life i've been afraid of singing on stage.. For all other matters like debates, extempores and speeches, i've never had trouble. But though otherwise i sing well and have taken up official training in Carnatic music, when i step on the stage my voice gets all cracked up and u can feel the churns in my stomach being dispelled out in my voice and wat not.. But now as im growing up(he he) i feel before i reach the zenith and start my journey downhill this is one of the things i would like to successfully achieve. So singing practises are goin on and will let you know whether it all went on well or i ran out thru the back door ;)

Death Speaks

Jeffrey Archer has been my favourite writer from the time i turned 15. Thats when i first read his short stories, thanks to a very dear aunt who has always been a role model to me. She always had the habit of buying us books and i truly loved her for that.. i believe books are the best gift and i too practise gifting them now :) Also im really happy that we are visiting her in a few days time. :)

She gifted me his ""Collected short stories" which contained all 36 short stories of his till that date.. The book had to be a favourite firstly because she had gifted it to me.. secondly it was remarkable, the twist and turns he brought in his short stories.. i was so spellbound. From there began the saga of reading Jeffery Archer and i still like reading him over and over again..
Here is one of his shortest stories for you i came across from my current read "To cut along story short" titled "Death Speaks"

"There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture; now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the market-place and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra. "

Happy boys and Happy girls!!

Once upon a time a little girl with 2 little ponies on both sides built a castle by the sea shore.. she decorated her castle using sea shells and stones.. her younger sibling watched with awe how her sister was building up a pretty castle.. it was a perfect evening, the sun painting the sky crimson red with its rays.. The sea gulls flying across the horizon.

The kids waited to watch the sun drown into the sea..That usually marked their evening off at the beach.After tat they walked away holding the hands of their mom and dad. A happy sight, a happy family..

But wonder y.. the happiness never stays.. it always gets washed away like the castle on the beach..or may be its like the occasional rainbow which comes all of a sudden with the rains n then disappears without a trace.. however hard we try we cannot create a rainbow thru the sky we cannot..may be u can paint ur imagination with the 7 elegant colors of the rainbow.. I feel the same is with happiness.. u can only make urself believe ur happy, unless there really is a moment, a special blessed moment which renders you to be happy.. like the rainbow which adorns the sky, the instance when happiness adorns ur life.. But then its just for an instance..After a few hours or days it just vanishes..

I often wonder y should there be sadness at all.. wat bad is it if everyone in the world remains happy?? oh yes i know wat some of ur answers are goin to be.. without night there is no day.. u wont appreciate happiness if u dont know wat sadness is etc etc..But can one be truly happy?? or wat is a happy state?? It is of course relative and with each new achievement we have still innumerable things yet to be achieved.. may be greed or jealousy or some other emotion eats up a little bit of our happiness unknowingly.. But we r all not saints now are we??yet amidst all our stresses and strains we find means to be happy.. listening to a favourite song, grabbing an ice cream, talkin to a friend.. all this makes one happy.. but isn't it some way we just discovered to run away from our true state of sadness??Can't it be the other way round??Or is it only my thought??

let me hear it from you.. wat do u think is a happy state?? when will u fell that gosh.. now im truly happy.. without having to search for a means to pacify urself of being happy..

NB: - "Happy boys and Happy girls by aqua is one of my makes me feel happy songs!! hence the title for this post..:)"

the parade

The independence day celebrations in Dallas was too gud.. The event took place at lone star park,grand prairie(in pic) and the first few minutes of being there was pure ecstasy.. So many fellow Indians, clad in colourful costumes and speaking the familiar languages..

All the many stalls selling kurtis, chaat, and masala dosas.. woohoo.. for i moment it felt i was in India.. Never expected so many Indians there.. Sure, Dallas has the most number of Indians in US.. But witnessing it was truly a pleasure... but after a while i cud hear the Hindi music coming from the stage, which was not up to the mark.. The singers weren't very lively and so the crowd wasn't with them..

But soon the parade started and we marched off in that direction.. i have made a few friends here so we all were there as one big gang.. we kept hogging and the food kept all of us so busy the entire evening :) I had chikku kulfi after such a long time.. it brought back memories of the days when me n cousins used to pluck out chikku's directly from the tree at my granny's place.. sigh good old childhood..

Anyways, after that the fireworks started and we spread out sheets n mats on the ground and had a spectacular show in the sky lying down cosily thru the night.. It truly felt special celebrating independence day cos never had it seemed so important..Always it was the skits that we presented in school on the day or the patriotic songs we sang or the laddu which we got that used to hold the central attention in my mind.. But this one time, may be being away from my country made it all the more important for me and hence we made a concious effort to celebrate it..

On a different note i finished reading the Kite runner by Khaled Houssaini..The story is very much gripping and i did enjoy reading every page of it.. I had never wondered how life in Afghanistan would be and it was amazing to find it so vastly different that ours.. surely deserves the appreciation the author received, especially this one being his debut book.But at some point i did feel that the book has been a little over-hyped about..Or may be his second book is really too gud.. well i shud read that one too soon.. but surely "the kite runner" is a worth read for every human being..

Bluff Master

The weekend was rocking with a late night DJ party, a bhajan mandali and an excellent card game of bluff. Those of you who do not know how to play it may find it a bit difficult to relate to my experience. but its easy to follow if u read thru the link..

We started this game with about 9-10 players.. All young, enthusiastic, bubbly and on the look out to catch each others bluff.. It was a hard time for the person whose turn it was to play, for he would be coaxed by all others to "call" the bluff of the previous player.. Now let me briefly tell u how it works.. In this game each player has equal number of cards and the person who gets to play can bluff about his cards.. (the cards are kept inverted) N if caught by the next person all the cards come to him n if the bluff call was false the person who called, has to take all the cards. N the winner is the person who finishes off all his/her cards.

My husband was playing it for the first time n he had a tough time deciding whther to call bluff or not when his turn came. n fortunately or not i was the one sitting before him. So he was subject to all the teasing saying he was being partial to me ;) all of course for fun alone.. It was a terrific evening with loads of laughter and a sumptous dinner after tat. But what made me post it in here is the lesson we learnt over this game of bluff..

It was plainly visible that all the other players tried to lure you into playing by wat they say. at times it was to call bluff at other times it was not to call bluff.. but they were all united. sumhow..

N that depended on just pulling each others leg or to confuse the person whohad to play. N in the end watever the result was whether the way you played turned in your favour or not, everybody laughed and you were the sole person affected by the whole thing.. That evening i learnt one small lesson.. the world is like that.. it always tries to lure you towards it.. trying to confuse you and to bestow its wishes upon you. for watever step you take, the world is not affected by it but its your life which changes by it.. It showed us the importance of deciding for one self.. How important it is not to be the football of others opinion..

Also here is wishing all my indian/pakistani readers a happy independence day!!

60 glorious years of indian independence!!

This video made my heart swell with pride for being an indian.. N i am really sad that im not in India :(

Anyways enjoy this video and Hail India!!! :)

I believe

Thanks for all ur comments on my previous post.. As they say time is the best healer.. the biggest of wounds are forgotten with time.. had read somewhere that if a woman cud remember how painful it was to have a child she wouldn't venture for it the next time.. :)
So yes as u all said.. that's life.. recently before i wrote my prev post i had written a post on life being the best gift. take a look at it here.
So, guess i let go of all the fears, anxiety n move on taking one day, one hr, one moment at a time.. And i am sure u all agree that at times the going gets tough.. and u need to give vent to ur feelings.. but now I'm composed.. thanks to all u wonderful people out there..
My RJ thingy has sprung up again.. they called me n asked if i cud do an Ad..i was all yes yes yes n so off i went driving 20 miles ;) N its the first time i was driving alone on freeways.. so it was exciting... N now my voice is getting broadcast over Dallas for 2 ads. one for an Indian grocery store and another for a furniture shop. cool na.. It will be really gr8 if i get tat job.. i will enjoy doing it rather than sit n talk to computers... ;) well ya so small things bringing joy and making life normal again..
well guess that's how it is and always will be we need to keep singing and dancing. as the show must go on... enjoy!!

puppet show

Yesterday i removed all the pictures i had put into orkut a socialising site from my profile and was subject to questions from many. one of my friend's asked me if i was scared about all the talks on photos being misused from the net. i said no, i wasn't scared of anyone or anything but God. I am really scared wat god has in store for us.. It is like a huge puppet show..
we can be hurt, sad, happy or wat not,but the show must go on.. the world just moves on..suddenly the puppet whom u were dancing beside is no more there.. The one who was holding ur hands has rage in his eyes for u.. You are such a dumb head.. don't even know wats going on.. but still u dance, sing and move on..
I keep thinking of the day when the curtain will fall and i will meet the big director.. wouldn't i have many questions to ask him.. oh yes i will.. but i only hope i wont be muted once i step out of the big dias..
extremist ideas are a pain to my brain.. one moment i feel god is a sadist but the other i feel the devil is putting such ideas into my head n in real god must be working real hard to take care of all his children.. the devil is the one who brings destruction and god is working overtime to mend and tend us..
aren't my ideas extremists?? well yes an overload of free time and stress.. i know i may sound crazy, but a lot of things are happening out here.. i dont think i can share it all on this blog but plz do pray for us.. i wish i cud go just go home , back to India.. sigh..
enjoy the puppet show readers!!!

A BIG HI

hey all,
i have not been blogging as frequently as i used to these days.. But believe me, for a change im working he he ;)
Don't know if u noticed but i have put up a link for a travel site www.sgctravel.com. its my hubby dear's dream project and we have been working to make it work :) Do drop in and say wat u think about it.. Suggestions/frank opinions are most welcome.. Would love to hear wat u have to say..
Another thing has been on my career front.. there are a few developments happening here and there.. So fossils have started to stir at last ;) More importantly, I took up a dare and i attended an interview for a Radio Jockey at the Dallas desi(indian) FM 104.9 ;) The interview was a piece of cake n i hope the results too are sweet and tasty!! I would love it if i get this job.. its been my dream to have an artistic/creative kinda career. But it never materialised or rather i never took up the dare ;)
but now i have.. As i reach a quarter mark in life, i feel the many inhibitions i have kept so dear to me are nothing but cobwebs hindering my view.. So i have decided to emerge strong and try being brave ;) N I'm glad i attended the interview, even if i don't make it to the next level.. but i keep my fingers crossed n wish i do:)
it feels nice to be sharing all this stuff with u guys again.. Another innovative(?) thing i did is i created a local community here on my favourite pass time orkut.com and the response did turn out well.. the first meet happened last weekend and we all went for bowling.. The alley was beautiful and the back drop colorful and very graphic.. Would love to have posted pics but i forgot to take my camera n the only pics i got were from a friend and are of them(n me too ;))..So no alley to show u :( However,bowling struck us hard n so me n V went again this weekend for bowling at a different place.. but this place wasn't as good as the first one. but there were many other games n we enjoyed a lot. :) so that's all about my update.. n now will visit each of u soon :) tc..

The witch of portobello

lotus reads so many books n her book reviews are splendid.. She inspired me greatly to read new books.. I always used to pick up the books from libraries and have hardly chosen a random book from the store to read.. It was fine till now.. But recently when the parameters of time n resources are being abundantly favoured on me, i thought it was time to move a step further...

i have started frequenting Barnes and nobles bookstore near our place n have found the ambiance there really refreshing.. Few teenagers r lying down on the floor reading while some others are sitting squat legged taking down notes.. The kids have their own space n so do adults..The plush sofas are cosy and welcoming n i found there were people spending their whole day there.. It was 4 weeks back, here, that i had started reading "THE WITCH OF PORTOBELLO" However that time i cudn't finish it and luckily i got it from the library on request..

Being a Paulo Coelho fan, i had badly wanted to read that book.. The Alchemist has completely swept me over n somehow i started to believe in the lessons for soul and in spirituality.. What he says seems to make sense to me..

The same holds true about The witch of portobello too..(However The alchemist still tops as my favourite :) ) Based on the current day lives in London/Dubai n Romania, the story binds the contemporary and spiritual lives of a young woman..She is Sherine Khalil who loves to call herself as Athena, a normal young girl who has great determination to live a useful worthy life.. The beauty of the book is that it is a first person narration of the many people who closely knew the protagonist, who now is dead.. The author speaks about the female form of god and this time around love plays a central role in his plot..So does the part of a guru/teacher.

I feel he is an author of great calibre and has the power to take u to a next level..It is like picturing the story from an invisible fourth dimension plane.It sure is deep and thought provoking and not all of u may like it much.. Philosophy is illustrated with simple facts but at times the goin may get a little too tough.. However a good read for anyone who likes a little spirituality/philosophy.

it sure is a crisis..
the temperaturs r soaring.. The coke cans are just going..
the rain clouds have vanished.. N so have the flowers that i cherished.
the pool is full of noisy kids and the library is at a stand still..

ok guys no time for poetry now.. i know my blogging is at a low.. i've been busy job hunting..
But sigh guess i need to wait till october before anything can happen..last year too i was listening to this same song.. i was on the so called "bench"(out of project) n was waiting for october when i cud go home :)

wake me up when september ends.. by Green Day!!
N as the song is good im not getting bugged :)))enjoy!!!

Corny Lines..

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?





you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!


Corny lines have always had me awestruck.. Some of them are so plain outrageous that u can't fool a three year old..


But ain't it mushy mushy, sweet and romantic like some of these i can fall for any day -

"I wanna swim in ur eyes so deep.
N hold you even when ur asleep ;)
And steal ur heart forever to keep
N like a broom off ur feet will i sweep
If u were a sheep, i'd be ur bopeep
My heart for u ever surely does weep.
Its done since jumping off lovers leap.
I've to end this asking give me a peep.
Wear just a smile ,sow seeds we can reap?"

corny way to propose right??
So wat do u say? wats the corniest lines u have come across???

How Much????

value the people around you more than some superfluous thing...
smile when you can for tomorrow is unseen :)

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,084,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

the belated tags!!!

Sometimes when you seem to have a lot of something, even if that something was something you always longed badly for, it seems soo boring... n the something i seem to have a lot these days is ofcourse time..i always felt there is so much in this world to know.. so much more to learn, so much on the internet, n wat all i cud do when i sit idle.. sigh!!!
Sadly nothing seems to be interesting me now.. as i have already told you, i am awestruck by the libraries here.. but sadly my reading is at an all time low :( n i feel so pathetic about it..
Earlier when i was a student or was working, i always read some book before goin to bed. it was part of my routine.. now the moment i take a book im fast asleep.. maybe cos the times i choose to read are afternoons.. but 2 days back one book caught my attention.. we went to Barnes &Nobles n i picked up paulo coelho's "the witch of portobello" n read the first 50 pages.. N it sure was intriguing!!! looking forward to reading it soon..
I am in a crappy mood right now.. but i thought i wud finish the 3 long waiting tags from nanditha, radha and ranjith. And akanksha too(the last 2 have tagged me on the same one!!)

The above lines were written a week back.. However i didnt complete the post nor publish it then.. But must tell u today i am happy that i put in some efforts to change the situation described in the above lines.. i completed reading a book in 1 week.. i had forgotten when was the last time i finished one at that pace.. Oof course there have been times i did it in 2 days.. but as i told u i hadnt' been ale to do so for some time.. n now im glad i cud.. :)
Also i have requested for some of the books i had always wanted to read from the library an somhow tat frees me form the "i'm a moron" feeling now.. N im back to the stage were i think i can post in with a positive feeling.. i know its best to write (type) down ur sorrows.. But somehow i hardly do it here.. May be cos i want to read only the happy instances when i read my blog as a granny he he..


So coming to the belated tags.. phew i got 3 of them to do..
The first one i believe is not so late as its a book tag and i took up my new book just yesterday..lol ;)
N the book is 'Bedford Square' by Anne Perry.. Now this is the first time i'm reading her n i randomly chose a mystery novel ;) Hope she is good..
So the lovely Nandhita tagged me to jot down the 5th paragraph of page 123 of my current read
i hope its a small para ;)
so here goes -
(ha ha im lucky.. just 2 lines ;))


she smiled back at him, as if she had understood far more than he had said "How very wise of you.I shall do exactly the same."And she walked close to his side,keeping her arm through his.


And the chapter ends there!!(im all smiles)


so one down.. Here goes the next one..

Better Late than "The late" Tag

A tag all the way from Dubai by the beautiful Radha to tell you about my oldest childhood memories..Now as u must be knowing i love talking abt the old times (Ha do i sound ike a granny)..
So my oldest childhood memory wud be.. wel u have to listen to many cos im not sure which is the oldest..
They all have to be from the Bangalore times.. means my first 4 yrs in Bangalore.
I remember my first 'boy'friend called vicky. He was an yr older than me n also our next door neighbour. And once when there were some guests at our place n my parents were seeing them off at the gate, i ran over to vicky's house(both our homes were in the same compound n it was night) my mom n dad kept searching for me n at last found me he he i dont remember if i was smacked for running away like that ;) But im sure i wudn't have been as i was a cute talkative little gal at age 3 n wud have talked them out of it.. smart aint i ;)


N another small bad habit or lets say addiction i had at the time was my feeding bottle.. (shud i be a little embarrassed to say this :D) yes i was hooked to it n wudn't abandon it for anything.. then my dad had to create a scene of smashing the bottle in front of me n dumping it in the dustbin so that i wud wane away from my habit.. sigh poor me.. :(
ok i think i will stop on my ever flowing memories here for now else it sounds like a lullaby..



So marching on towards 'The Late'st Tag..
My buddy Ranjit n the pretty gal Akanksha have tagged me to write 8 random things about me..
but i guess i have already done a similar one not so while ago.. So Do have a look here
N as they make only 5 here i go bragging 3 more things about myself..




*I don't know swimming. N this summer i badly wish i did.. N also i'm a bit reluctant to learn from some swimming school now.. cos i am ahem ahem shy.. :(





*I have always wanted an elder brother..Though i had few rakshabandhan bro's at school, it was for plain fun n sharing sweets alone..well mostly.. it never worked out the way i always wanted.. Nor can i expect it to right.. so sigh..





* ok n as for the next random thing about me.. u tell me.. i will publish the one thats most appealing to me :)

A very Long Engagement

After watching amelie, i became enchanted by audrey tautou. And i was happy to get "a very long engagement" on mail, in which she plays an even more powerful character..
i have been wanting to write the review of this movie for the past 2 weeks.. However somehow the time/mood compatibility seems to have favoured only now.. I fear i lost the vehement desire n freshness of the noble thought now :( but still i'll try..

Crippled with polio n living in war timesmatilda,the heroine of this simple love story has much more in depth to express than i first expected.. The movie really takes one on a treasure hunt and the feeling of adventure and mystery are sure to accompany you till the end..with not one boring scene/reel i felt a sense of achievement after watching this movie.. each character is carefully interwoven and its fabulous how the plot unfolds.. some of the war scenes might be disturbing though..A very true to life and touching movie, which has truly captured the pain, the fear and hopes of soldiers and their loved ones.There is a subtle tinge of humour and excellent cinematography and direction are a sure plus..truly enjoyable was also the background score, costumes and effects.

Though it was a bit difficult to keep reading the subtitles mind you, as i am yet to be accustomed to watching foreign films i enjoyed the movie a lot, ..must say i am completely knocked down by audrey.. first it was audrey hepburn.. now audrey tautou.. may be if i have a daughter, u can guess wat i may name her ;) provided i am not that impressed by sumone else by then.. lol


Another movie which got hooked into me was "The hours".The entire movie revolves on a book "Mrs dalloway".. how the book takes over the life of 3 women, living in 3 different cities at 3 different periods.. there was a lot hidden and unsure about the 3 women.. though a little clarity is presented towards the end, it is enigmatic..it is about their whole lifes in 1 day, the day their fates become clear.. As is said in the movie "A woman's whole life in a single day. Just one day. And in that day her whole life. "

The dialogues are excellent.. It ranges over a wide spectrum and the story tells us abt so many things in so many ways..it feels you are reading a book.. There is so much scope for imagination. n yet in the end, it remains a simple story abt a woman who wrote a book in 1923in England, a women who read it in 1951 in LA and yet another modern day woman who seemed to be living it in 2001 in NY city.

somehow it seems inexplicable to me.. but it sure was a pleasure to analyse the movie.. nicole kidman won the oscar for playing the English writer n must say she has successfully portrayed a battered kind of a schizophrenic woman, concealing her glamour and her strikingly different nose. julianne moore is pretty in the 50's costume and meryl streep who im sure u all will agree as a versatile actress, has done a fair job in this movie as well.
i had fun imagining the possible links between the 3 stories till the end.. wuldn't want to spoil the surprise for any of you.. based on Michael Cunningham's 1999 Pulitzer Prize winning Novel"The Hours." ,this movie can be enjoyed by drama lovers :)

Birthday bash..

It sure is fun to arrange a surprise party!!! Especially since i have found mobility real recently ;)So on thursday was my dear V's b'day. N bein the first after our marriage i thought it really needs to be spl..
n here im posting the birthday cake for u all..It was marathon cooking..N the party rocked leavin me all tired n speechless.
so will find words to express some other time.. till then enjoy the weekend all..

BEING IN TWENTIES - SOMETHING

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.


You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.


You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.


Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.


You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.


You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!


What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

U may have read this before.. i paste it here now cos i and my husband think that now,i am going through this phase.he he :-)

parts of me

i come to u in n Bits n bytes
with parts painted in blacks n whites..
at one time i add a flab here n there
n sumtimes i tend to loose shedding a tear.

when i met a guy in school
some grey part bloomed up in me..
when i crushed the little crush
my heart just broke.. but with a hush..

nowone ever saw the tiny parts moving..
but it sure did for the change is now showing..
i tell u they move, they play games with me..
n if u care to notice i can show it to thee..

for him i did this for her i did that..
n suddenly i see that time didnt halt.
but now i take rest to turn back n see
colours too peek from behind the grey tree.

when i travelled from one city to another..
the smoke n dust climbed into me sumhow or the other..
but also did the many good things..
like the music, the food n a passion for kings..
loved history i did.. but physics flew above my head..
chemistry was always a mystery.
but maths i cud do lying on my bed..

this thing n that kept adding up
n at times the clouds of sorrow kept looming up..
but after a certain threshold i lost the childhood dream..
strong, determined n matured was all that remained it seems..

but even today i feel a child playing in me..
the old games of hide-n-seek may be she plays with me..
many a friends i made on my way..
treasure them i will more than gems anyday..
but some few ones i have lost..right in front of my eyes the friendship gets killed..
n my heart aches to know where i went wrong..But the doors r now forever sealed..

there were people whom i care for just not so well..
but if they were friends i miss them like hell..
when the grey is too thick it drives me crazy..
just tell me the reason for this to go frizzy...

one part is straight another is not.
some ve cooled down while anothers still hot..
some r still weeping but others r bare,
N reading all together is a riddle so rare..
but one thing i tell u, its all i have got..
N each one together are like forget me nots..

But now i know that spring is here..
n i will not let be held back in fear..
another new chapter will begin this year
n spring it will be forever my dear..

weekend @ the gardens

After having bored you all with more n more of "glimpses of me" finally i am able to tell u more about the city we have moved to.. Last weekend we did some exploring other the grocery shops that is ;). we went to the Dallas arboretum and botanical gardens.. As we thought it would be only a matter of 2-3 hours we started out in the afternoon.. However the gardens spanning over a stretch of 66 acres were vast and welcoming.. The sun was in full glory and we had a tough time staying away from the lula mae cool drink cafe.. The arboretum is colourful year round and there are ground breaking research activities happening there..

The whole area has been sub divided into smaller sections called A Woman's Garden, DeGolyer Gardens,Jonsson Color Garden, Lay Ornamental Garden,Boswell Family Garden ,McCasland Sunken Garden, Paseo de Flores,The Palmer Fern Dell etc..

The Paseo de Flores was one of the best and loomed out in all its glorious beauty.. Though the summer was kind of discouraging, i was happy we went to the gardens..It was really soothing n the colorful flowers were pleasant and serene.. There were many visitors as it was a weekend and also were there weddings!! not one but atleast 3-4.In different spots we saw the Dias being set n the brides, grooms n all the people looked so elegant n charming.. It was the first time i was witnessing an American wedding.N must say it looked just like in the movies.. I ve always loved the long flowing brides gown n it was a joy to watch.. n i cud hear one of the little gals(who puts flowers on the brides path) saying "Its so difficult to keep smiling all the time!!!" ha ha..

Also was there an ancient home, a master piece in Mexican architecture, in the middle of the arboretum, now converted into a cafe.. There r tours to the house every hour but sadly we missed the last one for the day..but V is so much enchanted with that house that we sure will go back one more time, me for the garden n he for the house :)

Thats the picture of the house from the exterior..

Also there were trams available which took you from one end of the garden to the other.Of course it is a must in such huge place..

well maintained and beautiful, this is surely one place worth visiting in Dallas :)

A gr8 day!!!

OMG.. OMG OMG
people can u believe it.. i got my drivers license today!!! not that it was impossible.. but the unbelievable part is that i got a 100/100... straight good(thats the highest they give here mind u..:P) in all the areas.. My instructor said i was excellent n i deserved a pat on the back he hehe..
n to think i had been swearing all the DPS offices n the roads n the rules here he he.. now i can go shopping to the malls n where not. he he..
okay don't u worry.. i will be safe wont drive at 90mph.. N will strictly stick to the rules.. :D
hmmm so thats one down!!! life's becoming smoother.. n i guess i ve found out ways to control my frustrations n give vent to suppressed feelings..
We marked our half anniversary recently n it rained heavily hahaha lol!!!
i have thought of doing some volunteering job this summer in the library n hope it turns out to be fun...
i love my new Nike walking shoes n they r simply gr8!!!
n ppl all this excitement is making me crazy so i better stop spilling all beans here..
have a gr8 weekend(yes for me it starts on Thursday!! :D)

BOOOM!!

hey people................. A BIG BIG HI..

10 DAYS!!! Withot u.. life was barren!!!

I was choked to Boredom n i kept thinking of other things to do on my to-do list.believe me all boring ;-) Though important.. :-( So i just did it for namesake.. After all, wat gud is doing all the imporant things if u dont feel like urself or feel dull n pathetic rt???

The long weekend (may 26-28) was fun.. we drove over to houston n had a fine time meeting friends n relatives.. N had loads of gud food..ha ha yes im fed up of eating my own food. :P

i drove at 90 mph he he n it was thrilling.. but it was a bit scary when the rain gods put me to test n we were driving with the emergency lights on cos visibility was near zero..(ha ha is this a plane or wat??? lol) watever.. ;)

Gosh how i love blogging... though it is like penning my innermost thoughts n some of which r top secrets ok..but y bother abt the virtual problems when i have the real friends in my readers.. It was really very sweet of harshal to keep tempting me to come back..Also all the others who said my site was gud n they wanted me to come back made me feel gud.. atleast it erased all doubts of whether all this writing was worthwhile.. Not that i intended to stop blogging.. but now atleast it states that it was not only me enjoying my blog :)

Job hunt has officially begun n in less than 3 months i may be working full time.. i am happy abt it cos its been almost 6 months that im idle at home now.. but this is fun too.. It shows on the weighing maching ;-)

posting a pic of my straight hair which gave me oodles of joy thought again thanks to the rains lasted hardly 3 days.. i have loads of catching up with u all to do.. if i missed out on anything really really imp/ exciting pl do let me know.. i must confess hibernation sucks.. there was not a wink of sleep leave alone sweet dreams.. so i better stick to my day dreaming!!!

Cheers,

diyadear